Residency as a Mom: Advice I Wish I had Starting Intern Year

Originally posted as a Reel in June 2023, this reflection shared some tips and advice for moms in residency. Now that I’m at the very end of this residency journey, I wanted to revisit and expand on that advice , especially for incoming interns who are also moms.

Let’s be real: Residency is already a beast. It challenges your time, energy, mental health, and emotional bandwidth in ways few other career paths do. Now add motherhood to the equation, and you’ve basically unlocked superhuman status — even if it doesn’t feel that way most days.

Residency, especially as a parent, can feel like an alternate universe:

• Support isn’t always guaranteed

• Work-life balance feels like a myth

• The physical and emotional toll is often unspoken

But even through the chaos, you can do this. And you don’t have to do it alone. As I close this chapter and head into attending life, here’s some real advice for moms entering residency that I hope will help you navigate the next 3–7 years with more strength, strategy, and grace.

✨ 1. Find and Build Your Community of Support

Whether it’s your partner, family, friends, co-residents, or other mom physicians — you will need a village. This journey was never meant to be walked solo, and having people who understand your reality (or at least try to) makes all the difference. Be intentional about forming support systems before things get tough.

Immediately after I found out that I mentioned into residency I created created “PGY Mummie”in May 2022, this virtual community allows me the opportunity to meet with other resident moms across the country. Sharing struggles, triumphs, and just being a form of support for each other over the last 3 years, and it made the world of difference!

✨ 2. Protect Your Time

Your time is one of the most limited and valuable resources during residency. Between call shifts, continuity clinic, lectures, and studying — time often feels like it belongs to everyone but you.

Block off non-negotiables: bedtime routines, self-care days, family meals — even if they’re few and far between. Your time deserves protection, even in small doses.

✨ 3. Get Comfortable Asking for Help

This is not a sign of weakness — it’s wisdom. You may be used to "doing it all," but residency will humble even the most organized parent. Speak up when you're overwhelmed. Communicate your limits. And lean on the people who’ve offered to show up for you.

✨ 4. Secure a Solid Childcare Plan (and Backup!)

Have a dependable childcare routine and at least two backup options. Unexpected call-ins, extended shifts, weekend coverage — they’ll all happen. Being prepared can prevent unnecessary stress during already chaotic days.

✨ 5. Communicate Like Your Sanity Depends On It (Because It Does)

Talk openly and often with:

• Your residency program

• Your support system

• Your child’s caregivers or school staff

Clear communication will help manage expectations, minimize misunderstandings, and preserve your peace.

✨ 6. Incorporate Self-Care Early

Don’t wait for things to calm down — they won’t. Build small moments of joy, stillness, and reset into your routine now, even if it’s 15 minutes alone in the car after a shift or journaling during a night feed. Your well-being matters just as much as your patients’.

✨ 7. Give Yourself Grace

Residency rarely offers grace. You’ll miss things. You’ll cry. You’ll question your ability to do this. You may not recognize it for a while or even feel it, But you’re not just surviving — you’re thriving in the face of one of the most demanding chapters of life.

Let that be enough. Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing more than enough — you’re doing the impossible.

✨ 8. Manage the “Mom Guilt” (It Will Creep In)

That feeling that you're not doing enough at home or missing milestones? It’s real — and it can eat away at your confidence and peace.

Here’s how to work through it:

• Remind yourself of why you’re doing this — your kids will one day understand the sacrifices.

• Celebrate the quality of your presence, not just the quantity.

• Reframe the narrative: You’re not absent, you’re investing in a future that benefits them too.

💬 Sometimes, just saying out loud “I feel guilty, but I know I’m doing my best” can help ease the weight. Therapy, journaling, or connecting with other physician moms can also help normalize and soften this internal struggle.

✨ 9. Stay Organized to Stay Sane

Even if you’re not naturally a planner, systems will save you:

• Use a planner or app to track shifts, school events, appointments, and to-do lists.

• Color-code family vs. work vs. self-care tasks.

• Do weekly reviews (on Sundays, for example) to reset and prep for the week ahead.

🧠 A little structure goes a long way when life feels chaotic.

✨ 10. Don’t Chase Perfection — Prioritize Progress

You’re going to mess up. You’re going to forget things. That’s okay. Residency is not about being perfect — it’s about showing up, learning, adjusting, and moving forward.

If you can stay grounded in your “why,” the rest will come.

Progress over perfection. Always.

This road is hard, no doubt. But you’re not alone, and you’re not the only one doing this. There is power in shared stories, in support, and in knowing that you’re part of a strong lineage of mom docs who are changing medicine — and motherhood — one day at a time.

✨ Sending strength, grace, and solidarity to every incoming resident mom reading this. You’ve got this.

📩 Want more real-life tips, encouragement, and behind-the-scenes moments of residency and motherhood?

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This blog was Adapted from IG Reel Post www.instagram.com/conceiveadream